An IELTS essay should be between 270 and 290 words more or less. Your introduction alone is around 90 words instead of 40 to 50. You’ve also included creative, imaginative ideas – spider and webs – this is inappropriate for an IELTS essay. You’ve clearly got good English but you won’t even hit 7 unless you learn the right techniques. I highly suggest you think of getting my opinion essay lesson to learn the right techniques:
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IELTS Writing Task 2: 'positive or negative' essay - Simon